Despite birthday clowns and stand-up comedians dominating the scene, we all know that the best jokesters are dads with their punny humor and groan-inducing quips. Although not everyone is a big fan of that type of comedy gold, there is a certain amount of appreciation any person can have for a well-timed pun. Especially if it's followed by thunderous laughter from the person and the classic finger-guns pose. Scroll down below to see some of the best dad jokes around and don't forget to comment and vote for your favorites.
1.Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.
So sorry Brian, one day he'll get it!
2.My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right.
I love this one.
3.DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.
MOM: Oh my! Who!?
DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?
DAD: No, it was with a knife……
Groan - nice one!
4.Did you know the first French fries weren't actually cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.
This was so stupid that i actually laughed out loud.
5.If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
If the kid wants to avoid a rest, he should go under cover ;)
6.I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!
You must obey gravity, it's the law
7.What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows.
What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea.
8.I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I’ll let you know.
Eggs still came first, but for another reason. The first chicken had to come out of a chicken egg as it would otherwise not be called that. The animal that lay it however, does not nessecarily had to be a chicken (yet).
9.What is the least spoken language in the world? Sign language.
You got me.
10.My daughter screeched, "Daaaaaad, you haven't listened to one word I've said, have you!?" What a strange way to start a conversation with me..
11.A slice of apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in the Bahamas. These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
12.My wife tried to unlatch our daughter's car seat with one hand and said, "How do one armed mothers do it?" Without missing a beat I replied, "Single handedly."
Ha!That was just before she swiped at you
13.Justice is a dish best served cold, if it were served warm it would be justwater.
Took me a few secs to get it but, well done.
14.My friend keeps saying "cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water." I know he means well.
A well is an underground hole full of water.
15.MOM: "How do I look?" DAD: "With your eyes."
I need to use this for every person that asks me this question